As a little girl, I always attended church. Every Sunday and every Wednesday evenings, every week. As I grew older, I grew away from that life.
At the age of 19, I found myself to be pregnant. Such a glorious time in my life, however I was also alone. The father of my baby apparently did not want to be a part of our lives so a single mother I became. Now this baby girl became my pride and joy.
When she 2, I began dating a guy. He and my little girl grew very close and we did as well. Everything seemed so perfect during that time. I managed to make myself a sweet little family that I was very much proud of.
This guy and I were married in 2008, and had our first child together in 2009. Going from a family of 3 to a family of 4 was probably the most difficult time in our marriage. Here we are, still learning about each other and now we have to work together at raising an infant. But we accomplished the task and I gotta tell ya, it was NOT easy at all.
We had our 2nd child together in 2013. This time around was much easier. We both had grown and our other 2 girls were such big helpers. As they grew more and more, we decided together that our oldest (mine with someone else) should be officially adopted by my husband. So in September of 2015 we made that happen. That was a very special time for our family.
Sounds perfect, right? Everything just went so easy peasy. Falling into place like it should. Not at all did it happen that way. During all of these beautiful things happening around us, there was and still is a destructive thing in our marriage that has been destroying us slowly but surely. So in 2015, I decided I needed Jesus in my life. Not just in my heart, but in every aspect of my life. It was a hard decision but it needed done. So I started praying daily, I read my Bible, did Bible studies, started praying with my kids at dinner and bedtime, and read christian books about becoming a christian wife and mother. I thought that was my answer and all would be fixed, but it wasn’t.
My marriage had been struggling for some time now. But I thought for sure if we had Jesus in our home, we would be ok. The only thing, my husband was not cooperating with me. He wasn’t doing what I wanted/needed him to do. He wasn’t giving up the destructive path he had taken for so long. This was obviously not going as I planned so I became the nagging, complaining, and angry wife. Not a pretty picture but I was determined to make my husband see this destructive thing was killing us and it needed fixed. I prayed hard, I prayed so hard for him and for our marriage everyday…then one day….it hit him. After a huge ugly fight, it finally hit him hard. There needed to be a change and he was taking the steps to do so. He was following Jesus, praying, and was becoming what I needed. I saw an amazing christian man form before my eyes.
Until, it all changed AGAIN. Sstan crept right back in. You see, he stopped following Christ, he stopped reading his Bible, he was letting Satan take over his life all over again. This just couldn’t happen so the nagging, complaing, angry, not so pretty wife came back. Then God let me know this is not what He’s been teaching me. This is not His plan for us. This will not help my husband or our marriage. So, here we are in a marriage in need of Christ’s love and grace. Trying to figure out our place and loving each other at the same time. We are all in need of Christ’s love and grace. I believe with God, all things are possible. We will destroy Satan’s place in our home and marriage. He will not conquer us and he shouldn’t conquer you!
God can restore what is broken and change it into something amazing. All you need is Faith. Joel 2:25